Early childhood memories are the source from which children start to form their beliefs about the world. If for example a little child believed that his parents are giving more attention to his little sister then he might develop the belief that his parents don't love him the way they love his little sister. But how can this past event affect the life of that kid later on?
Simply that kid might always believe that someone else will be preferred over him wherever he goes! When that kid grows up and gets married he might start to believe that his wife is cheating on him whenever she smiles to other men.
In such a case the old belief that was developed at the past impacted the way the man sees life! This was just a simple example demonstrating how a single past event can affect the person's present life greatly. Now how many similar past events have contributed to your current beliefs? And can you imagine the impact the hundreds of events you have been through, when you were a kid, can have on your life right now?
So how can you prevent your past from impacting your present? With these thoughts projected out into the future—with you expecting them to be true tomorrow, the next day, next week, a month from now—you perpetuate yourself being that same person you believe yourself to be in the future. You recreate the same experiences over and over again, proving to yourself over and over again that you are, indeed, this person.
When you stop expecting to find yourself in that same situation over and over again—expecting to find poof that you are that person, you will stop having those experiences. For this to happen, you have to leave all of these experiences and decisions in the past. Stop bringing them with you into the future. I learned all of this long ago when I was doing a variety of self-help, personal growth and human potential workshops and seminars, like the Loving Relationships Training.
The other day a colleague invited me to a preview of the Landmark Forum workshops. There I was reminded of this idea. It made me stop and consider what decisions I made because of past negative events or experiences that I place in my future and then create that same unwanted outcome.
If I can become aware of the experience and the thought, or the decision I made about myself, I can then affect my future outcomes, I can begin changing them. By being conscious of the decision made in the past about myself, I can affect my future and change who I become. I can become someone who earns more money. Byron Katie, an author, says we should always ask if we really know something is true. The entire field of becoming is open and accessible; past and future coexist in the eternal now.
As conscious humans, we take for granted the inherited assumption that time flows in one direction, in a linear fashion—from past to present to future. Several physicists, though—including those as well-known as Richard Feynman and John Wheeler—have speculated that this may not always be the case: time can flow in both directions and occasionally the present can influence the past.
The ability of present events to affect those that happened in the past is known as retrocausality. While physicists have more work to do to flesh out this theory, proponents say that a double-headed arrow approach to time can explain other concepts in quantum mechanics, including entanglement. Entangled particles are those that share a special relationship. Their entanglement begins while they are close together, but even when they are separated by vast distances, measurements made to one particle can still affect the other in predictable ways.
Retrocausality may hold the solution to that problem. According to this theory, when something is done to one particle in the present, the effects travel back in time to a point when the two particles were close together. In that way, information from the future is transferred between the two particles. These effects then carry forward into the future—without violating relativity.
One cognitive behavioural exercise that you can use to help you start to tackle a feeling of helplessness or uselessness based on your past experiences is called the Explanations Exercise, given below:.
Most of us feel anxious or experience irrational thoughts from time to time. Often there is a relatively simple background or explanation to why we are acting or thinking in an anxious or irrational way — this may for example be because of certain events in our childhood which make us sensitive in particular situations or it may be because of recent events, or a mixture of the two.
It can be helpful to write down in a few sentences what you believe to be the explanation for your anxieties or irrational feelings and then conclude with a positive statement as to what you are starting to do to try to gain control or to react positively when confronted with the anxieties. Write down what you see as the explanation or background to your recent anxious behaviour or thoughts, then conclude with a constructive sentence describing what you are now doing to begin to take control or reminding yourself of what a more realistic positive view of yourself or the situation is.
I believe this is because when I was younger my parents often criticised me and told me that it was selfish to want too much for myself. I now realise that as a human being I am entitled to have my reasonable needs met and to believe in a positive future for myself.
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