Love your child no matter what. Your parenting values, your teen's maturity level, and the specific situation will help you determine how much chaperoning your teen needs. Having an eyes-on policy might be necessary and healthy in some circumstances but teens also need a growing amount of independence and the ability to make their own choices.
Aim to offer your teen at least a little bit of privacy. Don't listen in on phone calls or eavesdrop on private chats, and don't read every social media message. Keep tabs on what you can, especially if you have any concerns about what is going on. You can certainly follow your child's public posts on social media.
You'll need to follow your instincts on how closely to supervise what your child is doing. Inviting your child to bring their friends and dates to your house is another good strategy as you will get a better sense of the dynamic of the group or couple.
Plus, if your child thinks you genuinely want to get to know their friends or romantic partners and aren't hostile to them, they are more likely to open up to you—and possibly, less likely to engage in questionable behavior.
While it's not healthy to get too wrapped up in your teen's dating life, there may be times when you'll have to intervene.
If you overhear your teen saying mean comments or using manipulative tactics, speak up. Similarly, if your teen is on the receiving end of unhealthy behavior , it's important to step in and help out. There's a small window of time between when your teen begins dating and when they're going to be entering the adult world. Aim to provide guidance that can help them succeed in their future relationships.
Whether they experience some serious heartbreak , or they're a heart breaker, adolescence is when teens begin to learn about romantic relationships firsthand. Expect that your child may feel uncomfortable talking about this stuff with you and may even be explicitly resistant but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try.
Offer advice, a caring ear, and an open shoulder. Make sure they understand that anything put online is forever and that sending a nude photo can easily backfire —and be shared with unintended recipients.
Don't assume they've learned what they need to know from sex ed, movies, and their friends—tell them everything you think they should know, even the obvious stuff. They probably have questions but may not ask them , and they've likely picked up misinformation along the way that needs to be corrected.
As a parent, your job is to keep your child safe and to help them learn the skills they need to navigate healthy relationships. As your teen matures, they should require fewer dating rules. But rules for your teen should be based on their behavior, not necessarily their age.
If they aren't honest about their activities or don't abide by their curfew or other rules, they may lack the maturity to have more freedom as long as your rules are reasonable. Remember that high school romances tend to be self-limiting, but look for warning signs too.
And be frank about sexual health as well. With first relationships come first breakups, and those can be painful. Be patient and sensitive, and remember that sometimes just listening is the best thing you can do. It can be alarming and uncomfortable to think about your child dating.
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